it's kind of a funny story?

or at least, it will be someday

preface to this story: i love christmas eve. way more than christmas, and more than any day of the year (save maybe spring concert, which isn't a part of my life anymore [most unfortunately]). my family also loves christmas eve: we usually eat a huge dinner, light a fire, snack on cookies, puppy chow, and rice krispie bars, open presents, enjoy presents, etc. HUGE on traditions. the last two years i've been away for christmas eve (argentina in 2009, the one and only time i felt homesick abroad and texas in 2008, working for ups then staying overnight because flights were cheaper the 26th) so NEEDLESS TO SAY i've been pumped to be back in the u.s. / close to my fam for this one.

preface part II: i am currently working two retail jobs. surprise: retail gets rull busy around christmas. as a result, i have worked a total of 69.5 hours over the past five days (essentially 7am - 10:30pm every day) and am sore, exhausted, and thoroughly convinced, after about 100 listens, that 'baby it's cold outside' is a song about date rape.

STORY: i finished work at trader joe's at 2pm today (i came in an hour early, even, so that i could leave before 3pm), raced home, and loaded my car to head straight to milaca, where my family and our traditions were waiting. (preface part III: i've been living with my brother in maple grove, a suburb of the cities about an hour and 15 min from milaca) i get the wine, gifts, overnight bag, etc etc into my car, lock it, and run back in for my computer and some trader joe's danish pancakes in the freezer. make sure to lock both doors from the inside before i step back into the garage to leave and realize

i left

the keys

to my car

and the house

on the counter

and OF COURSE luke doesn't have an extra house key under a doormat or in the garage. because in what universe would that be a good idea right? and OF COURSE i don't have an extra car key in a magnet box under my car because why not take them off a month ago? and OF COURSE it's 20 degrees outside and the neighbors aren't home (it is christmas eve, after all). and OF COURSE even though i keep meaning to learn how to pick locks, i haven't done so yet.

anyway, i walked a mile to a caribou with my compUSA under my arm and asked them if i could sit here even though i don't have any money on me (yes, but they close in 30 minutes). currently, my dad is on his way with an extra key, i have unthawed a bit, and the string of curses in my head is abating. and i guess i'll be extra, EXTRA grateful to celebrate if and when i get finally do get home.

next year i want a lock-picking book for christmas.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Y'ALL

Oh, to harmonize.

I don't deserve one of these. Or maybe the tone-deaf among us are the most deserving.

Singamajigs

HOW DO YOU POST VIDZ?

People actually fall for this??

We've heard of Bedazzling and even Vajazzling...but Tajazzling??
THIS IS FOR REAL.



Who knew that some baby powder, lip gloss, and some stick-on rhinestones could so drastically change the lives of women AND men??? :]

Dating Advice from an 8-Year-Old

You may have already seen this because it's old, but it's so funny! Every boy should take advice from this kid...HILLARIOUS. He even told the world the girl he has a crush on on Ellen.

BLEACH IS TOXIC

and i can't get it outta my nose. i think it's infiltrated my brain. did i mention i sprayed in my face? jk. mostly.

anyway, i'm cleaning up the house. i figured i'd start early, and well, i've got nothing else to do and no one to talk to from 5 p.m. on, so might as well clean... i also made rice krispie treats out of not rice krispies but instead these rice puffs which are not crispy, so maybe i made soft rice treats? less appealing?

on a larger scale, i made a new pinata that had udders and as stuffed with pepsico winter/summer wear (amy??), register tapes, rubber spiders, and a single mini-candy cane. i had it hooked on one of the blades of the fan with the intention of turning it on and having people guess how many seconds it would take before it flew off and exploded, but the other partygoers nixed that idea since we only had one helmet and a tv in close proximity. expression after hurling it to the ground repeatedly while i screamed KICK IT! and/or maybe KILL IT! was: wow, i wasn't expecting that, upon bursting it open.

that pretty much sums up my internship here. i'll be sad to see saturday arrive, even though my days will mostly be spent bleaching.

Exams

Judging the constitutional merits of "sexting" as a form of child pornography between 16-year-olds who are dating: priceless.

In t-1 week expect calls/Christmas cards from me because school will be out and I will be able to resume communication with the outside world. I look forward to catching up and I hope everyone had a scrumdidilyumpteous Thanksgiving!