it's kind of a funny story?

or at least, it will be someday

preface to this story: i love christmas eve. way more than christmas, and more than any day of the year (save maybe spring concert, which isn't a part of my life anymore [most unfortunately]). my family also loves christmas eve: we usually eat a huge dinner, light a fire, snack on cookies, puppy chow, and rice krispie bars, open presents, enjoy presents, etc. HUGE on traditions. the last two years i've been away for christmas eve (argentina in 2009, the one and only time i felt homesick abroad and texas in 2008, working for ups then staying overnight because flights were cheaper the 26th) so NEEDLESS TO SAY i've been pumped to be back in the u.s. / close to my fam for this one.

preface part II: i am currently working two retail jobs. surprise: retail gets rull busy around christmas. as a result, i have worked a total of 69.5 hours over the past five days (essentially 7am - 10:30pm every day) and am sore, exhausted, and thoroughly convinced, after about 100 listens, that 'baby it's cold outside' is a song about date rape.

STORY: i finished work at trader joe's at 2pm today (i came in an hour early, even, so that i could leave before 3pm), raced home, and loaded my car to head straight to milaca, where my family and our traditions were waiting. (preface part III: i've been living with my brother in maple grove, a suburb of the cities about an hour and 15 min from milaca) i get the wine, gifts, overnight bag, etc etc into my car, lock it, and run back in for my computer and some trader joe's danish pancakes in the freezer. make sure to lock both doors from the inside before i step back into the garage to leave and realize

i left

the keys

to my car

and the house

on the counter

and OF COURSE luke doesn't have an extra house key under a doormat or in the garage. because in what universe would that be a good idea right? and OF COURSE i don't have an extra car key in a magnet box under my car because why not take them off a month ago? and OF COURSE it's 20 degrees outside and the neighbors aren't home (it is christmas eve, after all). and OF COURSE even though i keep meaning to learn how to pick locks, i haven't done so yet.

anyway, i walked a mile to a caribou with my compUSA under my arm and asked them if i could sit here even though i don't have any money on me (yes, but they close in 30 minutes). currently, my dad is on his way with an extra key, i have unthawed a bit, and the string of curses in my head is abating. and i guess i'll be extra, EXTRA grateful to celebrate if and when i get finally do get home.

next year i want a lock-picking book for christmas.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Y'ALL

Oh, to harmonize.

I don't deserve one of these. Or maybe the tone-deaf among us are the most deserving.

Singamajigs

HOW DO YOU POST VIDZ?

People actually fall for this??

We've heard of Bedazzling and even Vajazzling...but Tajazzling??
THIS IS FOR REAL.



Who knew that some baby powder, lip gloss, and some stick-on rhinestones could so drastically change the lives of women AND men??? :]

Dating Advice from an 8-Year-Old

You may have already seen this because it's old, but it's so funny! Every boy should take advice from this kid...HILLARIOUS. He even told the world the girl he has a crush on on Ellen.

BLEACH IS TOXIC

and i can't get it outta my nose. i think it's infiltrated my brain. did i mention i sprayed in my face? jk. mostly.

anyway, i'm cleaning up the house. i figured i'd start early, and well, i've got nothing else to do and no one to talk to from 5 p.m. on, so might as well clean... i also made rice krispie treats out of not rice krispies but instead these rice puffs which are not crispy, so maybe i made soft rice treats? less appealing?

on a larger scale, i made a new pinata that had udders and as stuffed with pepsico winter/summer wear (amy??), register tapes, rubber spiders, and a single mini-candy cane. i had it hooked on one of the blades of the fan with the intention of turning it on and having people guess how many seconds it would take before it flew off and exploded, but the other partygoers nixed that idea since we only had one helmet and a tv in close proximity. expression after hurling it to the ground repeatedly while i screamed KICK IT! and/or maybe KILL IT! was: wow, i wasn't expecting that, upon bursting it open.

that pretty much sums up my internship here. i'll be sad to see saturday arrive, even though my days will mostly be spent bleaching.

Exams

Judging the constitutional merits of "sexting" as a form of child pornography between 16-year-olds who are dating: priceless.

In t-1 week expect calls/Christmas cards from me because school will be out and I will be able to resume communication with the outside world. I look forward to catching up and I hope everyone had a scrumdidilyumpteous Thanksgiving!

The Beginnings

Let's keep an eye on this. When revolution strikes, everyone will look to someone...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/27/opinion/27herbert.html?src=ISMR_AP_LO_MST_FB

No, I haven't given up on the dystopias.

IN MY BED WITH THE INTERNET!!!

HEY, FRIENDS! Sorry for my long absence, which is primarily due to the fact that I have not yet had wireless in my house until now. I do scan the blog when possible...and snag the pop culture vidlinks that I can't ever open up (due to government computer restrictions, which btw are way more limiting in a bad way than an activated SafeSearch) and post them on friends' fbook walls.

First, I hope everyone had a delicious t-givs. I made pumpkin cheesecake, which is in fact much easier and quicker than originally anticipated. Two of my friends from AmeriCorps (Colleen and Margaret) came to visit this past week AND IT WAS FANTASTIC. Not in the romanticized omgosh I'm so glad they're gone, but I am now looking upon it fondly kind of way, but in the truly, wow, my friends have disapparated and now I have no idea when I will ever see anyone again. So perhaps erring on the melancholic side? Anyhow, given that we've lived together in among the most strenuous situations nonviolent residences can offer, having them over was not so much like having guests but having my housemates come back to me. And I finally didn't have to walk the trails by myself, nor did I have to see HP7 alone. We also got to hot tub and play nature trivia games with some of the pals here. And of course I get smashed the first night they're here. They're sipping on some beers and I'm rolling back the Tanquerays and Cranberry like no old lady's bizness. They understood.

Moving on, now they've departed. AND everyone else (e.g. the other interns and a ranger with whom I've become friends) all leave next Saturday. I am here to the following Saturday. So. Expect some calls. I'm bound to get lonesome. Infinite Jest will become my 100 new friends. Maybe I'll try out drinking alone. jk.

Finally, I have a job for the following year in Northern California! I'm working at Emandal, which is next to a river in the Redwoods, with which I'm pretty excited to commune. Or climb. Or stare in awe. I get room and board SO POTENTIALLY NO MORE PASTA SAUCE FOR ME. Well, at least it will no longer constitute a full meal. I'll be there from April-September, in hopes of getting another job right after in Palo Alto. I'm trying to get my whole commune idea fleshed out during these next two years.

I wish you were all here. I didn't get to dogpile this week, which vaguely upsets me, so you should come humor me.

With love and mobiles,

rye

happy holidays

In a South Korea amusement park, there is a christmas penguin parade...it's the cutest thing EVER! But the santa in this video has the CREEPIEST ho ho ho I've ever heard...

NY update

I decided it was a perfect time to write because not only does it get dark at 4:30pm, making me inexplicably tired, but I also slept until 3:30pm, leaving me approximately one hour of moderate day light. Since it will likely be a late night, I thought why not blog away the hours?

The weather has been absolutely pleasant for the past 2 months or so... I realize it is entirely old-ladyish to comment on the weather right off the bat, but if living in MN taught me one thing, it is that weather has a HUGE effect on my happiness. Thus said, things have been really great :)

Life Update:
I recently convinced my part-time company to hire me full time (after my art internship fell through) and create a position for me. So now, 2 days a week I do research/create documents/contact organizations for trainings, etc. for human trafficking in youth (specifically sex trafficking for now because there is like nothing out there for labor trafficking). This has been awesome because I basically spend 7 hours reading and writing and feeling like I am in school except it is not every day. I will only have this position for a month or two when my current part-time position should become full-time (keep your fingers crossed that we get a grant making this possible!) The original part-time job is going well and hopefully being there more often will allow me to work on cooler/more interesting projects (sometimes I get bogged down in office-y work which is no fun). The people I work with are really great and interesting and I am learning a lot. The only problem is that I am not speaking Spanish very much, I miss working with clients one-on-one and I feel strange not doing anything with art... it is like college major-related guilt/I really enjoyed it and I was good at it. But hopefully, I will begin once-a-week painting classes in Jan and will be able to volunteer/get more experience in the next place I live.

That said, I am really excited because I am going to Chicago in three weeks and I will get to visit a high school friend who I have not seen in easily 5 years. It will be great! If anyone is in the chicago area around Dec. 17th, let's meet up!

Other than that, things are great. It is kind of scary when you realize how fast life is going by/how old we are. I have a pretty solid routine of work/chores, a regular group of friends, and a job I like... the months are seriously flying by!

Future Plans:
I have recently been meditating on the importance of living near people you like ..... So I propose we all start moving closer together... :D How does chicago sound to everyone? or potentially the LA area in 8 months or so? I will keep you posted...


Living in NYC isn't so bad:
I have been doing NYC-only activities since the clock is officially winding down in my stay here. Recently, I won a pair of tickets from NPR to see a jazz concert at the Lincoln center... it was AMAZING! not only was the performance incredible, but I later found out the seats were $95 a piece! I definitely won't be doing anything like that anytime soon...

Also- On my day off, I got tickets to see a taping of "The Colbert Report"... also a lot of fun :D I even got to see Stephen out of character for a Q&A. totally cool

ps- Carleton quiz
When you get The Voice, the first thing you do is:
A) read the cover story
B) browse through to see if anyone you know has a picture in the most recent edition
C) open right to the wedding picture section and judge everyone who is now married based on age, numbers of carls present, and type of dress

A few seconds of awesome...

You may have already seen these today, but if not check it out:

A woman solved a 27-letter, 7 word puzzle on Wheel of Fortune with only 1 letter:


Definitely the sports play of the week:

I Whip My Hair

So after witnessing an interesting rendition of I Whip My Hair Back And Forth by a drunk man wearing a wig at the Rockefeller Halloween Party (which resulted in him falling head first off the table he was dancing on), my hatred for this song increased exponentially...

But I have to say after watching THIS, I've gotta give the 9-year-old a little respect...

50 Reasons To Be Pretty Damn Euphoric You Live In NYC

I just stumbled across THIS, and laughed pretty hard:

I think my favorite is #38...

#10 made me miss Lauren "we bitch, therefore we are" :)

Pretty sure #25 describes Caro and Andrew's ideal world.

And I dedicate #44 to Briana (oh I do not miss the Stamford local).

For the ladiez.

I have to dedicate this song to my favorite girlies: Amy, Caro, Katie, Lauren, Leah, and Ryeon. You're all 10s! (You are too Andrew and Nate, but the song IS called "pretty GIRL rock" lol.)



Not gonna lie I blast this jam in my car, like, every morning.

It makes me happy...

to think that we were all voting today and making a difference, even if it is a tiny difference.

Pause, communicate, study.

I am utterly failing at communication; for this, I apologize to all of you!! Please bear with me as I complete these three years of insanity. I miss you all dearly, especially on days like this when I have something exciting to communicate and I can't run over to someone's house and jump up and down. Also, because I do nothing but study law, I have become a boring person unless you like you make jokes like, "Hey - there should be a band called Hearsay and the Exceptions!" Wah-wah.

First-off - I have a PAYING JOB for next summer! I had one legit interview this fall (because the top 5% got EVERY other interview...so annoying) with Savannah River Remediation (SRS) and they offered me the job today! I pretty sure I snagged this because of my environmental background, which is rare down here (but the jobs are rare too). SRS is a private company that works in conjunction with the U.S. Dept. of Energy and several other entities to clean up "the Savannah River site," a former nuclear weapons manufacturing hub. Needless to say, I may exit the summer as Spiderwoman (and crash Carleton's superhero party FO' REAL), but I checked out the radiation risk and it's pretty low. Especially for only 3 months. And, because y'all don't go to school here I hope I can brag that I am getting paid $4,000/month to be four attorneys' bitch. I think. I'm still reeling from when the lady on the phone told me the figure - maybe it was only $2500? Regardless - holy shit!!!!!!!!!!

Most importantly, I get to work with environmental clean-up issues and branch out in contract law and employment law, which is excellent because I really wanted to get experience outside of environmental law. In sum, perfect job for me. Unfortunately, I will be in a fairly isolated small town in southern SC, requiring me to pay double rent for three months. But the area is also famous horse country! I'm thinking I will return to my old horse-riding days and go out on a ride at least once while I'm down there and attend horse shows on the weekend.

I'm also in the midst of writing a 30-page paper for the law journal I'm on. The subject is "the enforceability of environmental covenants in SC." When this is done, I will be one more step closer to graduation and a tiny bit less stressed out. And, when I'm done, I will be attending a MUSE concert, viewing the Avett Brothers at the SC State Fair while eating a fried oreos, and apple picking in the western Carolinas.

Finally - I'm excited about the new emissions standards the Obama administration is working on and the EPA made an endangerment finding for CO2, which means it can now be regulated under the Clean Air Act and we may be able to combat Global Warming (a bit) more effectively.

I hope you all are well and keep the updates coming!!

<3 Katie

Best "Comps" Ever!!!!!

It's like cruel intentions but HILLARIOUS!!! This girl did her own research project on all of her sexual encounters in college. I will forever refer to hook ups as data collection...

My Life is a Lucy Sketch?

Hey queridos. Today my store received this enormous shipment of books from the US for which we´ve been waiting for about 3 months and my co-workers and I spent all afternoon hauling boxes around and unloading them. In a struggle with one particularly heavy box, I bent over to pick it up and my pants split right up the middle. Not in a discreet way either. We´re talking a perfect soundclip of a rip from zipper to belt. Every single pair of Gap pants I´ve owned has eventually ripped in the crotch, but never in such dramatic fashion.

I turned around to face the customers in the store, who were behind me incidentally, in this sort of classic way with my head craning around to inspect the damage. I wasn´t really bothered by it (even though I spent all day bending over with my black underwear conspicuously escaping my corduroys...) but now I´m down to two pairs of pants in a country where I can´t buy pants.

I think that means it´s time to come home.

And so it begins...

I am currently embarking on my second week of 60+ hours of work. Last week I was dead tired and barely did anything (minus the couple of nights when my body was totally wrecked from caffeine and sugar...which so far, I've only had one iced caramel machiatto decaf). To rewind, I've picked up a second job at Starbucks working about 20 hours a week. I'm on my lunch and I've just made about 1 billion frappucinos. No joke. And I walked around and smiled with coffee flavoring spots on my face until I went to the BR and realized that I had some new freckles.

In Castle news, I finally gave my first program on Saturday to about 40 people, and I got complimented on it at the end!! It was exciting! I'm still waiting for that fellow/old couple to take me out for drinks/dinner for a job well done. Maybe I should wear high heels when I give the next program.

Tomorrow I get to go inside the Castle! Inside a National Monument! They stopped letting folks into the structure 59 years ago. But the Park folk get to go up about twice a year with the archaeologists.

In other news, I have a vacation already planned out for anyone who'd like to join me: Given that I'm dragging myself out on 60 hours weeks, I AM GOING to take a 4-day vacay in November/December that includes camping in the Grand Canyon, 5-star hotelling it near Zion, and maybe camping in Zion. And maybe a dinner at a steakhouse. And maybe I'll finally go hang gliding. JK. That'd be a budget-buster. So, if you want to join me, you are welcome to!

Ha, and even though I have a second job on 60 hours, I'm only making maybe $175 a week. I try not to think about that part. After all, what else would I be doing with my life? Hiking? Writing? Stuff of dreams... That was not supposed to be cynical. Really. I do enjoy meeting people and man, have I met some.

Miss you and talk soon!

Some possibilities...and a little cynicism

Due to my never-ending and ever depressing search for employment, I've started reconsidering some alternatives. I apparently possess no marketable skills and its not like I have any technical education so I think I will pursue the rewarding route of teaching!

Unfortunately I did not possess the foresight to take Ed Studies classes while at Carleton--damn it!--So I'm looking into cheap local schools that provide courses to prepare you for a teaching license! My dad has really been encouraging this because 1. He was a teacher for 30 years so he knows everything there is to know about navigating the teaching world. 2. He says the economic depression we are in is probably going to last another decade. Fantastic.

But hey, lets look at the bright side.
1. I have one of those complicated and difficult to explain degrees. I could teach English or literature or writing or American history or social studies etc etc. So much variety and I like those subjects!
2. I went to a great Alma Mater that is well known to those in the educational world! The Carleton degree will look good to schools. Maybe after some experience I could get snapped up by the Blake School or St. Paul Academy that will offer a decent wage. haha. Plus what if I got a reference from Deborah Appleman? :]
3. The majority of teachers at places like Hopkins High School (where I went to school) are approaching retirement age. Hello job openings! Also community colleges are having record enrollments, and this means more teaching opportunities.
4. I already have some teaching experience. I mean if I can get a class of screaming, whining, crying and misbehaving 3-year-olds to do one the thing they are afraid of...I can accomplish anything!
5. My dad always said to not get stuck just teaching, work your way up the ladder and get some degrees to get to those educational administrative jobs. There are plenty of great masters and doctorate programs in MN for that kind of cushy desk job. Hello room for advancement!

And who knows, maybe at some point I can be a professor of American Studies and be the next Nancy Cho or Mike Kowalewski. lol. They are awesome and the current state of our country will provide me with years of interesting topics to discuss.

In all honesty though, this might be a good temporary fix and provide a little fall back plan for the future. That house in Lake of the Isles is looking farther away, but at least I'll be working towards some progress here.

Unless I can trick an elderly billionaire into marrying me and then making me the sole heir to his fortune when he dies....hmmm. JK.

I miss and love you all! My brother's constant updates about his super fun times at college (he is such a FRESHMAN, haha!) are causing me to reminisce! :]

Almost forgot

Today, while perusing Facebook a "photo memories" sidebar popped up with a picture titled "Katie's Signature Face" from an album made by Leah. lol. Reminded me of our "signature faces" pic we took this summer.

Also, this is going to sound really weird and DONT read into this cause it was really random....but I had a dream last night that Caro and I were hanging out and talking and she says:
"So, I decided I want to have a baby by 2014."
and I said something like "OMG, really? I want to get married then! Wow, you pregnant and me married? We're going to coordinate with Carleton reunion! That's going to be a big year." OMG. WTF. Right???

Also, I went to the Lady Gaga show the other week. It was the best arena concert I have ever seen....and due to my Pop Princess persona waaaay back in the day, I've been to A LOT of arena pop shows. The seats we had were better than I thought they'd be. Here are a few pics...

My Gaga outfit:

Not as good as some of the others I saw. A lot of guys dressed up in Gaga outfits like one dude who wore her red chantilly lace body suit. I also saw A LOT of Telephone outfits--studded bra, cigarette sunglasses, coke can hair. etc.

The beginning of the show:


I want that keytar:


During my fave song "Monster":

She pretty much fufilled my life aspiration to front a musical act and perform lying in a fountain of a bleeding angel while covered in blood and wearing vinyl lingerie. Hahahaha.

There are a billion more pics, Ashley will probably post them on Facebook at some point. :]

ARIZONA

HI! I never have internet so the quickest update ever: photos--see fbook. I can no longer depend on others to take pictures so this is what happens...picturevomit.

You'd get a kick out of my roommates. I would have never seen these folks coming (take that as you will). In the worst character sentences ever:

One loves John C. Calhoun.

One loves guns.

They are both pro-anti-immigration.

I'm putting them in boxes. You'd have to meet them. I'm mostly entertained and mostly left missing you. More news soon.

SMALL WORLD

So I went to the Carleton picnic in central park today. PS, what a bad meeting place, central park...took me over an hour to find people (and pretty sure Caro and Andrew never found people), but anyway. I was expecting like 10 people to show up and for 5 of them to be 40 plus, but as it turns out there was like 25 people there and like 10 of them were from '09!!! I saw Abhi, Kat Jensen, Aparna, Laura Corbin, Frank Dolce, Sam Birnbaum, and some others I didn't know that well (Bassiru Sarr and Moses something).

What I really thought was crazy was that within 5 minutes of me being there, I learned that Sam Birnbaum and Pat Whitehead are my NEIGHBORS...they live 3 blocks from me. I was seriously at a party last weekend that was on the same block as their apartment (could have been the same building). Glad I found out this way, how crazy would it have been to run into them on the street drunk one night and be like "I used to sit by you in econ classes". Laura and Kat also figured out that they are neighbors at this picnic and that they are going to the same grad school...so funny. And I found out that Michael Martin and Hannah Hosotani are moving to Harlem in a month. So apparently, the Carls are multiplying here in the big apple.

We talked of having a Carleton progressive (I mean social safari) and move from one apartment to the next for everyone in manhattan. I am 100% game for this (I had actually suggested this very thing at work for our sports department happy hour and they looked at me like "what the hell's a progressive" haha...I miss Carleton).

Too bad about that slavery....

Hello Everyone! It has been a while since I have posted (although I pride myself in the fact that I still do it more frequently than mr. widmer) so I thought it was time for a new update. I realized that this is ridiculously long, so I split it into sections so you can read the part that is most interesting to you.

The Job: I LOVE it! the staff is so interesting, fun, supportive, professional, hilarious, and really freaking smart. I am getting really involved in my work (like reading books and blogs about human trafficking in my free time) and feel excited to find something that allows me to pursue a lot of interests (international relations, social work, policy and public outreach, speaking spanish, etc). It is strange, but I have definitely been interested in the policy/outreach side of things, which is odd because up until soph. year of college, I considered myself pretty apolitical. But, the great thing about my job is that we are a small team of diverse fields (lawyers, social workers, lobbyists, etc.) so I get a chance to learn about each section of the pie. Also- I am getting a ton of experience working with grants and learning how a non-profit is run, which, although boring, is super helpful for the future. Basically, this job is approximately 203854928548928 times better than my previous position.

I think the best highlight so far is going to a bar with my coworkers and them not believing in my 1 drink max. They kept buying these insanely strong/cheap/delicious margaritas on me, until I was slurring outrageous and stumbling all over myself. It was the epitome of professionalism.

The Future: I have been looking into taking some classes (I seriously miss school. Like seriously) and considered italian, french, art history, and graduate classes in food studies. Unfortunately, my schedule is still a bit in the air (I keep waiting to hear back from the gov't art position that I have been volunteering with because they are considering hiring me part time... so until then, I am kind of working odd jobs/hours to get by) so I decided to post pone it until next semester. Also- classes are pricey! I found this program which looks awesome. Unfortunately, I do not have enough experience and this type of program is not in any of the schools/cities where Andrew is applying. But, it is a growing field, so it might come around in the next few years. Basically, my plan is a master's in food studies, work for fruit pickers' rights/anti-slavery among migrant workers and eventually open the diner of my dreams. **keep in mind, Life Plan changes weekly**

The Weekend: I am SUPER ready for fall... it has basically been hotter than hell in NYC, and I just want to be snuggly, bake delicious meals, wear socks, change up the wardrobe etc. Not really pleased that Winter comes right after, but I could definitely use a change in the weather. but this weekend looks pleasant enough, and I think Andrew and I are taking a day trip to Philadelphia and then attending a Carleton Club picnic in central park. Obviously I will send any worthwhile updates on alums.

The Family: well, we are t-minus one month to my sister's wedding... I think in general nerves are running high, budgets low, and anticipation somewhere in between. I tried wearing the mandated 3-inch bridesmaids heels to work today and tripped in the street and fell on my face (and ruined the shoe) oops. I keep putting off the plane tickets/hotel expense because it is crazy pricey (I realized I have never stayed in a hotel as an adult (like that wasn't a cheap hostel in another country). That shit is seriously expensive! But, I am excited to celebrate and see family/ see Andrew interact with my extended family (which is like my normal family on crack... except they aren't really on crack.)

Highlight of the Week: we have staff meetings once a week, so I like to bake vegan-friendly desserts (we have a vegan on staff). I made this on Wednesday, after Leah told us about the avocado frosting: yummy!
It was seriously incredible!

Also... Andrew's Birthday is next week. I am excited (although I am pretty sure he could care less) BUT this means we all have officially known each other for 5 YEARS! Happy Anniversary everyone!

GAMETIME!

Tomorrow is the start of Gamecock football season. I will be tailgating and just might look like this fantastic representation of a Gamecock fan. GO COCKS! God I love this school sometimes...

Lets have some fun, this beat is sick

Hey friends! Just a little update...

1. I'm working a couple times a month doing floorset for American Eagle. My first session was last week, Wednesday and Thursday night from 9pm - 4am. I basically do the visuals and displays for all the new product that comes in. It was crazy working that late. You know that feeling you got at Carleton when you were up late writing a horrible paper that is due the next day and its 3 in the morning and you're out of coffee? That's what it felt like when I was board folding my 17th stack of long-sleeve mens thermal tops. Haha. Its not so bad, but my limited checking account is in danger because I get a 50% discount and a first look at all the new stuff.

2. I have a new laptop! Dell Studio 17, 500GB hard drive space (what??), and it has one of those little built in webcams. Lets video chat sometime, k?? I miss your pretty faces!

3. I am SO OBSESSED with Etsy.com. Its like an ebay for artists/craftspeople/jewelry people/clothing designers/woodworkers etc but you don't bid on anything, just buy what you want. Like an online art fair? I've been finding the most amazing jewelry and I already have pages of stuff in my wishlist. Already bought a couple things. Uh oh.

Seriously...they have everything from Gummy Bear earrings to bath/shower scrub that look more like dessert to adorable tiny terrariums you can wear on your finger! Not to mention all the Alice in Wonderland, Jane Austen, or English Tudor royalty stuff you can find. haha. All that does not do this site justice, seriously just look up anything you've ever thought would be cool to have and you'll find it.

I may just have to take up jewelry making, cause I could make a fortune selling stuff there.

4. I'm going to see Lady GaGa tomorrow night! She's doing 2 shows in Mpls cause the first night sold out in minutes. lol. I CAN'T WAIT to get my dance on. Imma take pictures and I just might be wearing a gold lame GaGa dress. We'll see. haha.

5. My wish bracelet fell off this morning. I hope those wishes come true! What the bracelet status for the rest of you guys?

Miss you all. Keep posting, I want to read about your lives! :] <3

way to go carleton

We finally made it to the top of a list (and honestly, I think this is the most important characteristic of a college). Also, Minnesota dominates this list with Mac, Olaf, St. Ben's, and St. John's.

WOW. Just, wow.

Carleton, come back into my liiiiiiiiiiiife.


(via the Carleton OneCard office)

In other news, are people still not getting this concept?

My New job:Anti-Trafficking Projec

This past week I started in a new (wonderfully functional) office. I learned about http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/08/08/AR2010080801654.html at our staff meeting... food for thought.

more details to come over the weekend. Miss everyone!

FingerMonkey anyone?

Atti-tude?

This is the real name of an employee at the law school:

Attie Tootie Hooks

Long live the South.

Random thoughts...

1. Okay, not so random on this one but I LOVED SEEING YOU ALL (minus our dear Nate and Lauren). Will post beautiful pics on FB soon.
Caro: send me yours unless you want to post them!! :]

2. I REALLY wish Carleton HR would get my name right. Apparently I was in the final running for the Admissions Counselor job--I received a much more gracious rejection email. (ugh) But Emily Luhman called me "Brian" in 2 emails--one of which did not have any text in the body. WTF. And then just "Cain" in the final email. Sigh. My resume, cover letter, email address have my FULL NAME. Not to mention I signed all my email with my name, AGAIN. Lame Emily Luhman, lame. This does not prompt significant donations.

3. I was perusing the old facebook newsfeed and found a friend who was tagged in an album called "wedding photobooth!" HOLY CRAP. They were exactly what you think!--really fun photobooth pics of wedding guests, complete with props! Why have I not thought of this??? There will be a photobooth at my wedding. Consider having one on your list as well! :] :]

4. My brother returned from his month long program at U of M Morris today. My family and I drove out there for the program's banquet--sodexHO how I have NOT missed you.

5. I MISS YOU ALL ALREADY.

Road Trip Updizzle

Stay overs along this 5 day journey:

Aug. 11th--Nashville (Carl couple!)

Aug. 12th--Little Rock, AK (Carl alum!)

Aug. 13th--Amarillo, TX (Uncertain...)

Aug. 14th--Rimrock, AZ

Aug. 15th--Start at 8 a.m. (Who starts on a Sunday???)

GO, Carleton! I've never been so happy to be a Carleton grad with such an amazing alumni network before! It's nice being a grad now, instead of a student. It evens the playing field a bit more.

Also, I will be calling you along this trip. I'm going to need some help entertaining my mind.

MUSICAL CLOTHES

I'd wear this.

When they make it. I give it 3 years.

Why I Feel at Home Here

Trashmeat Collective reunion 2011: El Alto, Bolivia
SEE YOU THERE!

enlightenment

I just dropped $80 at Barnes & Noble. The lady at the counter asked, for what is probably the 25th time now, if I wanted to buy a membership for $25 and get $11 off my purchase today. I keep telling myself I don't spend enough money there to merit an extra $25 expense, but then I wonder if I'm kidding myself or just too lazy to do the math? She was probably also thinking that I was going through a cultural or spiritual crisis considering the subject matter: a Pakistani novel, the Upanishads, Thich Nhat Hanh's "Heart of Buddhism," "The Case for God," and "Eat, Pray, Love."

Technically, I read Eat, Pray, Love already, but I wanted my own copy and felt a need to re-visit it's pages in lieu of the new movie with Julia Roberts. In truth, I was feeling intellectually hungry and I also wanted to do some personal re-centering. I used to do things like play music, read poetry, and do yoga much more than I have been this past year and, while I've been happy and my life is not crazy and out-of-control, I wouldn't exactly call it "spiritually balanced." I've noticed day-to-day life getting in the way of the philosophical thoughts I used to have, books I used to enjoy, and the enjoyment of making fresh bread. Thus, with a rare day off work, I traipsed into the jungle of the "religion" section at B&N, sunk to the floor in my jeans and Italian leather shoes, and felt and instant sense of meditative peacefulness that I have not felt in a very long time.

As I opened the first crisp pages of "The Case for God," a book devised conspicuously for the Western world, something struck me: the difference between orthodox and orthoprax. Somehow I never picked up on the beautiful differences and interwoven nature of belief and practice in my Carleton religion classes and I found the idea of orthopraxy, in particular, very engaging. There are so many things in my life I believe, but do I ever take action on those beliefs and would taking actions make those beliefs more real? In my perennial thoughts about the complexity of relationships and their complications I immediately thought of the loss of "courtship" as a ritual practice and how it may have operated to actualize belief in the commitment of marriage - how people didn't just say things to each other to comfort their significant other, they did things to give meaning to their words. Or something like that...and how without courtship, their are fewer rituals to give marriage importance. BUT, are new methods of "courtship," i.e. "hanging out," just a new ritual that is no less meaningful in its own way? I'll have to think on that...

Thank you for reading the musings of a soul who is enjoying musing again and hoping that all of you get lost in the joy of exploring what can never be known every once in a while. I think the $80 was worth it.

Moving to Manhattan

Though I swore I was not the type to live in such a big city, I'm soon to be a resident of Manhattan...and I'm psyched!!!

I'm going to live with my friend London in a one bedroom that we are converting into a two bedroom (I had never heard of this but it's apparently really common...you literally pay some guy to build walls and make the living room into a bedroom and living room...should be interesting). It's on 91st and 1st (upper east side...5 blocks from central park) and our apartment is on lucky floor 13 haha. I move in end of July...whoooo!

HERE'S THE VIEW FROM THE BALCONY :)

Next Destination: Arizona!

Former home of our dear friend Carolyn and future four month residence for yours truly!

Check out my new place of work. For $75/week! But in a location steeped in beauty. Real estate always comes at a high price, right? And I'll finally learn what place AZ has in American History!

On a bittersweet, albeit exhilarating (for the moment) note, suddenly I've realized that my path in life is not one paved in money.

I went to a MEAT RAFFLE.

Like an actual raffle. You buy tickets and if yours gets picked you get your choice of the meats! It made me think of you guys! Haha. It was in Anoka at a sports bar/grill place. Apparently, Anoka is famous for their meat? They have these really amazing steaks called "Butter Steaks"--best steak I've ever had, hands down.

Now watch this video! THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH, trust me, its worth it.


I'll post storm damage pics later. I'm currently being serenaded by the sound of chainsaws and tree grinders!

Hey boys, you better step up your game...

Okay, we've got wedding announcement trailers, choreographed "down the aisle" dances, "evolution of dance" first dances, and now a proposal dance....



Holy crap. Haha. :]

I'm not sure which I'm more proud of...

In the same week as the R2D2 prank, Carleton also beat the WORLD RECORD for number of people SPOONING...

Goodsell Observatory? Oh, Carleton...

Star Wars meets Carleton - can we claim these students as our prodigies?

http://starwarsblog.starwars.com/index.php/2010/06/02/the-ultimate-r2-d2-college-prank/

my mom...

i still haven't found a good way of saying/telling this and i still haven't told many people who are important in my life because it's not something one brings up in normal conversation, but it is something i want to share with you all. my mom passed away this past thursday. she went peacefully with my dad by her side. we were expecting it, but the finality was still a shock. i'm okay - my busy life is a good distraction.

The South Pole

Y'all come down and check it out! haha

http://www.pole-dancing-for-fitness.com/spartanburggreenville-sc-xtreme-pole-fitness.html

Can't believe we have one in my small, conservative town. I blame it on closet romance novel readers.

TOPI SEX

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/25/science/25obantelope.html?ref=science

clerking under hot air balloons

This weekend I may, or may not, depending upon the price, rise into the sunset in the basket of a hot air balloon thank to a festival called "Freedom Aloft." Take that NYC! Greenville, SC has some things you don't have! (maybe). I will also definitely be attending the Scottish Highland Games to watch some Border Collies kick ass and celtic bands rock out. Oh, Memorial Day holiday - how I love you!

Update on the legal internship thing because I know you guys are dying to know about hazardous waste law...lol - I love it! I get to learn and look-up information about so many different subjects and laws that the boring tasks float to the background of my happy thoughts. The attorneys in the office are very approachable as well; they command my respect, but not my soul like Kim Smith. I'm currently working on a case in which an evil woman is trying to become the dictator of a nonprofit water system for a mobile home park. Hopefully, the Attorney General will be able to take her down from her pedestal of deceit.

But enough about myself, I miss seeing new updates on this blog!!

I don't care if you think your life is boring right now. I don't.

Love and hugs to everyone!

I like this.

Maybe you all have seen this 19385918691 times already, but I have to post it cause every time I see it I die laughing.



Hee.
:]

WHO LIKES CATS?

http://meowmania.jqln.org

Really the question is, who DOESN'T?
I live in a house right now with three dogs and the cutest little cat in the world. The dogs are fine, as dogs go, but I'll be real: 10 times out of 10, I'd rescue a cat from a burning building.

Ugh.

I am really, REALLY out of shape.

I tried doing part of a Brazilian butt workout. (Cause, you know, summer is approaching and who doesn't fantasize about looking like Adriana Lima in a bikini??)

However, I couldn't get past the first few minutes of the plie squats!! Granted, I've always been bad at those...but JESUS where did my leg/butt muscles go??? I almost fell over. This is gonna be rough...

This is real.

The Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield.


Apparently its an adhesive patch you apply to your skin in order to cover your butt crack. For just $14.99 you can hide the crack that shows when you wear low rise pants and a too short shirt...and it comes in various rhinestone/stud designs! Patent and trademark pending. For real.

Check it out on their website here.

Hahaha. I feel like wearing a rhinestone peace sign over your butt crack would be even more conspicuous than just having your butt hanging out of your jeans.

You Thought Carleton was P.C.

A couple of days ago I was on a bus coming back from a climate conference in Cochabamba, when I looked at the signs posted on the driver´s cabin. Usually these are things like, "Please keep your feet of the seats," "This bus only makes scheduled stops," or "Jesus take the wheel," but this bus, was a special bus. The only sign on the cabin was a very official one I´d never seen saying, "Please don´t eat inside this bus. Respect the hunger of others!"

Naturally, I noticed this sign just as I´d opened a conspicuously large bag of chips (what?) and looked over at my seatmate. He was quite obviously well-fed yet in slow motion looked at my chips, looked at the sign, and looked mopily into my eyes. Needless to say, I only got to enjoy half to a third of my chips. I´ll be more careful before I start chowing down in the future...

meat for thought

I thought I would simply comment that I bought a pound of honey-roasted turkey deli-meat this week. I've never purchased that much deli-meat at one time and it is awesome. (It has that wet, but dry, sweet flaky tender thing going on without being over processed...mmm)

Love those comics.

Also, I got a grant from the school, which includes summer work-study for my unpaid internship this summer. Therefore, I no longer have to keep my money in a lock-box!!

Trashmeat Relevant Comics

Sweet Dreams and Harsh Realities

Last night, after having consumed a "double margarita," a 90 calorie mojito (yes!), and having my booty call rejected (in favor of studying! law students...), I laid down happily in my bed and had one of the happiest dreams in a long time. Guess what it was?! You guys!

Somehow, we were all meeting up at a central location one by one. Carolyn arrived first and immediately began setting up the house by getting blankets and towels out of closets; Andrew cam next and immediately started telling weird stories, poured a drink and watched the set-up. Amy showed up with bags and bags of stuff. I don't know what it was, but she was PREPARED. Then Rye dropped in and began imitating a small animal. At that point, this part of my dream ended, but it had such a lovely essence of friendship about it that I remember feeling all warm and fuzzy at the time. I wish it had kept going so that everyone could have shown up. Moreover, it would be awesome if I could have then projected the dream to everyone via ESP or something!

Upon waking up, I returned to the world in which USC Law just dropped out of the top 100 law schools according to US New and World Report...THIRD EFFING TIER SCHOOL!! Needless to say, the entire Student Body was fit to be tied and the Dean held a "town hall meeting" during which a student asked, "Dean Pratt, tell us why we shouldn't fire you?"

While I don't think it's our academics that caused the fall, but other less important stats due to budget cuts such as "spending per student" and "facilities," what was most disheartening to learn is that Alumni giving is only 8 PERCENT. Carleton, as we all know, is way above 50%. USC does nothing to tap this resource - no phone drives, no solicitations, nothing! And, while none of us particularly like to be solicited for money, especially now when we have none, I'm willing to bet we will all give to Carleton in some amount. Thus, I see no reason why wealthy lawyers, whose loyalty to this state and state network are so strong, cannot give back to this law school!! Grrr...

Exams for the next two weeks. Uber Stressed. Love you all.

Fried Chicken Madness

For some artery-clogging reason, fried chicken is the most popular fast food option in Bolivia. By a lot a lot. The fried chicken phenom is such a part of the popular culture that when I went to a superhero party a month or so ago, no fewer than 4 people came (separately) dressed as "Super Pollo Copacabana." Pollo Copacabana is a well-known chicken place with ridiculous chicken mascots outside of all of their restaurants who either draw people into the restaurant or scare the shit out of kids/me.

Yesterday the fried chicken craze soared to new heights in my eyes when I walked past a place past which I walk everyday but hadn´t noticed. The name: Pollo Bras y Bros. I don´t have any idea what that could mean in Spanish. Maybe it´s a shortening of "brasa" which means "grilled" and "broaster" which means "broaster"...but I will be reading that sign in English from now on regardless of intended meaning.

Crazy...

So I've got a dilemma and this time its not about a lack of employment, but rather whether or not to take a job I've been offered.

I've spent the last month courting and being courted by a company called First Investors Corporation and I went for two 4 hour interviews for this job. Basically they are a place that provides financial services to regular Americans. I applied to be a financial services representative, where I make house calls with my personal clients and advise them on retirement plans, college funding, health/life insurance plans, and investments. These plans are all First Investors products (they have their own insurance, investment companies, and stuff). The job sounds exciting. Financial services is one of the few sectors that is showing growth. First Investors has been around since the Great Depression and they are NEVER in the red. The office I applied to is in Edina, 10 minutes from my house. The average age of their workers there is 28. The median income at that office is $80,000-$90,000. Holy shit. Plus within 3 years you can move to a management position. The schedule is flexible and you can take vacations when you want. All the people who work at that office are very personable, and friendly.

However, to be a representative you need to pass some state liscensing exams and you have to go through 2-3 months of training to do so. The pay is SOLELY commission based. So only successful sales = money. You receive all sorts of bonuses based on your sales, but the idea that it might take me a while to actually make ANY money is a little daunting. Also, when you're a representative you're listed legally as an "independent contractor" by the state...meaning you do not receive group health benefits. Eeek. The last thing I want is to be working for them for free for 6 months.

The site director called me today and offered me the job. I have until Thursday to say yes or no to this job.

The problem is that I've stumbled across some pretty sweet jobs in my recent searching. I certainly won't hear back from them in 3 days though. One of the jobs is to work at Coffee House Press in Minneapolis--one of the leading nonprofit literary publishers in the United States. Income around $35,000-$40,0000.

So what do I do? Say no to the job I can have in favor of some awesome ones I MIGHT get? Or go with a job that has the POTENTIAL to be very beneficial but without the guarantee that I can get my life going immediately?

I certainly didn't see a decision like this one coming.

Maturity Level = -6

So I'm embarassed to say I laughed out loud at work when I got this email forwarded to me hahaha!!! Enjoy...

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Goodbye Bald spot?!?

I received this email as a member of the Alumni Council; it appears that Carleton is going to build an administration building on the bald spot... BIG FROWNY FACE!!!

Dear Carleton faculty, staff, and students,

I am pleased to announce an important new development at the College. Named in honor of Carleton’s second president, the William H. Sallmon Administration Building will respond to a critical present and future need, that of adequately housing the College’s expanding administration. We are immensely grateful for an anonymous gift, which has made it possible to begin the construction of this facility immediately.

While some few may regret the loss of the Bald Spot, current and future plans for administrative growth make it imperative that we utilize this central location.

Please refer to this web site for further information:

http://go.carleton.edu/sallmon

TOO CUTE TO HANDLE

I volunteered to babysit two 8 week old puppies (Felix and Flint) last weekend...

Also, one more thing

Today I was in a cab heading to the bus terminal when the taxi driver´s cell phone rang with ´The Exorcist´ theme song. I thought that was cool enough, but then he answered and said, "Hola mami, como estás?" ("Hey Mom, how are you?).

NPR I Trusted You!

NPR has always been a beacon of hope and joy for me, but this article has shaken my faith in my once close friend. Obviously many of us have already noticed the trend the article discusses, but I don´t need it quantified and flaunted in my face! Shoot this makes me nervous about coming back to the US...

the phone call you never want to get...

Hi friends. I got a call from my Dad yesterday afternoon that my mom was in the hospital with a possible brain aneurysm. It turns out that she actually has a very large brain tumor in the very center of her brain that started to bleed and began to break down the communication pathways between the right and the left side. The good news is that she is stable right now, and the doctors are going to biopsy it tomorrow and decide on how/whether to attempt surgery and/or radiation/chemo depending upon whether the tumor is benign or cancerous. I'm kind of in shock right now, but I saw her and talked to her today and thank god she recognized me and only her short term memory has been addled at the moment. So...yeah. Life.

A new Proposition

So... I was trying to fall asleep last night cerca 2am, but I wasn't sleepy at all... I went though my persistent to-do list, thought about what to wear the following day, and tried to fight for my fair share of a painfully small twin bed when I realized: I am terribly homesick for you all.

Thus, the new proposition. I know we are all busy, generally poor, and spread far apart, but I don't think this should get in the way of seeing each other. I was thinking of when, where, and how we could all get together (the friends in South America are really making this difficult for me), but have come up with a plan. I am giving you all ample notice, and am opening it up to discussion.

The Proposal:
1 year reunion, around June 13th. I figure if we all start to plan a 4 day break in now, the possibility of it happening in three months greatly increases. I know we all have a variety of commitments, but please try to get time off from school, work, etc. and start saving now! (I have vowed to abstain from my daily coffee and put the $$ into a vacation fund... and trust me, this is insanely difficult given my job).

Please post here dates you ABSOLUTELY cannot do (like finals week for Katie, Rye's last week, etc.). I am thinking a beach vacay would be nice (how is it the frisbee teams can always get beach cabins for super cheap? Anyone know anything about that??). However, a visit in a city where someone is currently residing would allow us to possibly save on a hotel... Any thoughts?

Since I have ample time at work coupled with a strange addiction, I will spend my time finding airfare to a great destination that is cheapest for all. Please send me your location for June/July and we can make this happen!

Okay, I realize this is amazingly optimistic (aka borderline naively optimistic) but I really want to give it a shot!

<3

And...

I might have mono. In a house with 13 other people. What fun times will soon be had...

Final verdict to be released in a week. And this is just DAYS after the plague stormed our house (e.g. the stomach virus...which I narrowly escaped only to sprout inhuman lymph nodes.)

Not to pick on Korea but

haha.

I guess whatever works when it's cold?

In the summer...in the summer...

I am happy that so many of you have dutifully been posting to the blog while I have utterly failed to post anything of interest in far too long. I enjoy reading the posts so very much! Also, I am very sad that the Spring Break trip to NYC didn't work out, but I do think it was for the best.

I haven't been doing anything of interest besides going to school. I will brag and say that I earned the highest grade in my legal writing class this past term, which was a delightful surprise and perhaps I will run back to Carleton and shove it in the face of all those English professors who gave me a B+. Haha...sore spot? No!! More importantly, I have scored a summer internship with the SC Dept. of Health and Environmental Control. This State agency controls the enforcement of health and environmental regulations regarding the issuance of birth certificates, nursing home conditions, water quality, building permits, wetland protection, etc. The internship is full-time, but unpaid unfortunately. In this economy, law firms have taken a big hit with the result that any job, whether paid or unpaid, is a good one for a first year student. Thus, I am very content with my position especially considering it is in a field that, as of my desires right now, I want to practice in.

I will also be making a return trip to Carleton in mid-April for my last Alumni Council Meeting as a student representative. I am very excited to see my junior friends who are still there and hopefully Briana! Yay! Aisling and Bethany are still in the area as well. (Jeez - all these people with junior boyfriends sticking around....haha).

In the near future, Columbia has a huge St. Patrick's Day celebration, which I fully expect to participate in and, at the end of May, the Scottish Highland Games are coming to the area (think men throwing around telephone poles, irish dancing, celtic rock, and Haggus!).

Lastly, despite my efforts to avoid the unhappy chore of ironing and dry-cleaning clothes, I shall now have to become an adult in this respect. In preparation for the summer, I now have about 5 suit coats and far too many button-downs for any person to be able to comfortably raise their arms to gesticulate or maintain a reasonable temperature during hot summer months. Luckily, this was all accomplished by a brilliant trip to the local Goodwill on the rich side of town. Thank God for thrift stores!!

Also, Hannah Robinson is engaged (to a Carleton Professor)! That's two of Amy and my's freshman floor mates, from the same room no less, who are now engaged!!

Finally, I recently ate a baby octopus at a sushi restaurant and I think I get headaches now if I don't drink coffee. ADDICTION. Love you all!!

This Earthly World Is Balls

I think this is actually the most tragic thing I´ve ever heard. Also, by posting it onto a website I too am neglecting the real world! Damn Catch-22!

job update

Hello Everyone!
I completed my first week of work at Safe Horizon in the Brooklyn Family Court. It was full of information, a lot of down time, and meeting many new people. The first few days were a little rough, but I think I will enjoy working there. I will have three different tasks that all involve social work, so I am not worried about getting bored. I am really excited about my staff- everyone is not only approachable and willing to answer my many questions, but are also interesting and fun people I look forward to seeing. My boss is very relaxed and definitely knows her stuff, which makes her an excellent trainer. My only concern is that there is a lot of down time-- often times too much. The problem is that if no one comes into our center, we essentially have nothing to do. Luckily, I will be working two days a week at a different location, the Family Justice Center, that is generally much busier. The FJC was formed by the governor's office and houses over 20 different organizations working to combat domestic violence (including specialized police officers, the DA's office, and extremely specialized organizations like the Committee to end Jewish Poverty). It is great to have so many resources working together and within walking distance so our clients can get everything they need at once.

Unfortunately, the job can be pretty emotionally intense. I am learning to separate the rest of my life from my position with Safe Horizon, and how to mask frustrations is front of clients. The most intimidating aspect so far is that many people who have worked with Safe Horizon for a number of years seem jaded with the process (always complaining about corrupt police, not enough funding, loopholes in the laws, etc.) It makes the position feel very surreal, like I just walked onto the scene of a prime time courtroom drama. But since I will only be working here for less than two years, I am optimistic that this won't happen to me.

So that is that! I have about two more weeks of shadowing to do until I am able to see clients on my own, which is very exciting. I will keep you posted on how things go :)

Maxim Photo Shoot...

This is on the set of the Jeff Gordon photo shoot for the October issue of Maxim. The shot mimics the hangover, with Jeff's pit crew passed out after a night of hard work and racing and instead of alcohol everywhere, there's car parts and Pepsi Max...pretty cool idea in my opinion. This pic was taken after the shoot when we got to stand in for the crew and mess around and have professional photos taken of us...SO MUCH FUN. What's great is that Jeff and the Maxim girls wanted to partake in our fun so we all got a shot together.

How I Became an Angry, Culturally Insensitive American

OK, so when most people picture Bolivia they generally envision chubby cholitas with a cheek full of coca leaves tilling alpine fields while their herds of alpacas and an army of children tumble around the mountainside. While this Bolivia exists, people are disappointed to encounter La Paz as a big, bustling, and in many ways cosmopolitan city. I knew more or less what to expect and told myself that as a SOAN major I should anticipate the multiculturalism implicit in all modern cities and embrace the multifaceted spirit of today´s Bolivia.

That said, I have been shockingly intolerant toward the music that plays in the store next to mine. Cultural relativism breaks down in a pretty violent way when the alpaca goods store plays such classics at "The Godfather Theme," "Singing in the Rain," and "Born Free" on a loop for 9 hours every day. Also, these shmaltzy tunes are not in their original form, for our friendly local alpaca hawker has settled on acoustic reimaginings of these gems, heavy on the strings. I can handle Andean pan flutes and punishing recordings of reggaeton, but I have been pushed to the brink of extreme cultural xenophobia by this woman.

I will burn down everything.

Exotic luxury awaits you...

That's what the hotel confirmation email I got today said. So for those who don't know, I'm leaving for Las Vegas Wednesday (for work). I'm staying at the Mandalay Bay Hotel, which I had never heard of so I did some research today. Apparentely, this hotel has the number one pool area in all of Vegas, consisting of 11 acres of fake beach with a wave pool, lazy river, and of course, a number of pool side bars.



Other things I look forward to at Mandalay Bay...

1) there's a casino overlooking this beach area in which people are encouraged to gamble in bikinis and bare feet
2) you can rent cabanas that come all equipped with a stripper pole inside
3) there are staff on hand to marry you on the spot if you request
4) one of the pools is devoted solely to topless sunbathing (they say it is for their european tourists)
5) At night the "beach" becomes a dance club which is said to include "adult only entertainment"

Needless to say, I am sure to enjoy myself and come back knowing my coworkers that much better (I asked one of my coworkers who's going with me today if she had any advice on what to bring and she said that she was bringing Emergen-C so she can drink til 4am each night and not be hung over). More stories to come...

ZE BONES

chris, my housemate with whom I share a special kinship in all things weird and moderately terrifying, has stated that I have now done something so creepy that it gives him a free license to do anything he wants from now, as it will never measure up to the deed I just committed.

however, friends, I don't believe that it earns this designation of creepy.

the scene: I'm sitting in the bean bag, warming by the fire, painting a pile of bones with marker. after about 15 minutes, someone walks over and says, "hey, what are you painting... ARE THOSE BONES?" the room alights with fire as people start yelling over and over again: "I THOUGHT THOSE WERE Q-TIPS! THOSE ARE BONES?" "RYEON, WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE BONES?" "WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?"

Freaked out by the accusations barreling across the room, I have only enough wit to holler back, "BUT VAIR ARE ZE BONES?" I must channel nate whenever I am frozen in uncertainty. Five minutes pass in which people are growing increasingly alarmed at the presence of bones and the fact that I can only speak in a broken record german accent.

when things die down, I reveal that I picked them up on the beach, intending to build something out of them. They demand that I boil them, which I begrudgingly do. The steam smelled like pungent earthy dirt, in case you were wondering.

that's when it was decided that this won as the creepiest thing anyone has ever done--thus, setting the bar by which other deeds can be measured.

I don't think it was that weird. Now there's a bird bone mobile hanging from a nail in the living room.

Joyous.

Also, send me some fun creative writing exercises that might elicit (or shall we say "provoke"?) some memorable responses...

Not a school project. But sort of.

This is what I'm working on in Provincetown!

Someone please do this...

Save the Date Wedding Trailers! OMG!

Apparently they're becoming very trendy. I guess wedding dance videos aren't enough anymore. (I also think this would be a fun way to earn money with a CAMS degree.)

So cheesy....



And for that classic Benton House couple...


HAHAHAHAHA.

Its freezing and I'm ready spring now.

Hey friends!
Its currently 3 degrees outside. So much for that heat wave last week--highs of 32 and rain...lots of rain that would freeze. Except you don't realize its frozen so you step out of your car onto the blacktop and die. Classic.

I had my first alumni gathering experience last week. I went to downtown mpls where Carleton was hosting a business network event. It was interesting... Have any of you had that experience where you run into someone you went to school with--except you never said anything to one another for the entire 4 years you were at school together--but now that you are randomly running into each other, you're now friends? Yeah, that happened a lot. People from school that I had never spoken to were all of the sudden super friendly and curious about what I was up to. Kind of nice, really! Glad we can all be friends now. :]

Anyway, at this event they had this guy from class of 74 speaking about the Outlook for 2010 and how to get a job in the business world. So obviously, there were a ton of econ majors dressed in suits ready to network and a bunch of older alums. Mingling was not hard or as awkward as I thought cause alums would just walk up to you and include you in some random conversation. Awesome.

Apparently we should be looking for jobs in infrastructure, green tech, health care, and food. According to the speaker those are the industries that will be able to expand. Score for Amy--seriously, every time I drink something that isn't Coca Cola I look at the label and it says "Pepsico--Purchase, NY." I think you're stalking me.

Okay, funny story...one of my mom's co-workers heard that I was still searching for a job, so she called up her husband who is an executive in the financial department of Gander Mountain. He says that he's looking for an inventory analyst and even though it require 3-4 years experience, he said I can skip that since I went to Carleton. Haha. If you don't know Gander Mountain, its a hunting/fishing/camping company with the motto: "We live outdoors." Hahaha. Sounds perfect for me! Luckily knowledge of the lifestyle is not a requirement.

Second funny story...I logged onto facebook yesterday and in that sidebar where the ads are I saw 3 ads for the following:
1. Minneapolis 1 Day Coupons
2. Pole dancing shoes!
3. Become a fan of the Emu--King of the birds!

WTF FACEBOOK.

Obam-bam

For those of you who couldn't watch it!

Remember this?

Look what Apple trailers has now...

The trailer features clips not in the original movie. It looks weird now.

Reasons Bolivia´s Cool

Sorry I haven´t posted since I arrived everyone. I´m safe, just fyi. The store is chock FULL of colorful characters and I´m pretty excited to dissect them more thoroughly in the future (Ryeon, Andrew...no funny business at the mention of dissection). So far I don´t really have friends, but it´s ok because I have a really cool crazy neighbor who should sign the Kyoto Protocol at the rate she smokes, an aspiring Buddhist/quasi-academic employee, all the coked-out tourists speaking garbled, Cockney English I could ever want, and the world of couchsurfing to bring new friends to my front door.

Today I also found my favorite store in La Paz/Bolivia/ever. They sell tickertape, fireworks, dried starfish, roots that make you hallucinate, and hammocks. All at reasonable prices!! Bolivia´s also nice because beer, albeit weak pilsener, is sold in half liters. For a dollar. Which means either a. I don´t really need friends or b. having friends will be that much better.

Finally, La Paz is cool because instead of normal city buses we have mini-buses from the 1970´s. Exactly like the ones in LOST. The other day I had the best time imagining my overweight driver was Hurly bouncing through the jungle. How am I going to watch that show come Feb. 1?!?

And that´s my Bolivian life. I have pretty much full control of the store at this point and tomorrow I start training my very own full-time employee. I´ll post pictures soon of my pretty apartment and other things that catch my attention. LATER!

p.s. Can we have a competition to see who can use this website to most hilarious effect?

"the 'this is why you fart' topic"

This was the actual headline from a site I just visited on a vegetarian website. For the last week, I have been a minimalist/busy/not gone to the grocery store and, as a result, my diet has been primarily vegetarian. I have noticed that I started farting often and loudly (not silent and deadly, but which is worse, really??) and looked up possible causes. Turns out spinach, in addition to beans, compounded by a vegetarian diet high in fiber all lead to excessive farting. I have been eating my way through a bag of spinach and fresh green beans all week!! I think I'm going to have to change my diet because I spend so much time studying in the quiet library, I can't afford such embarrassment! Nevertheless, my diet may still be more wholesome than Rye's...

For the wish list...

Some of you may or may not be familiar with my dream of having a room full of eternally youthful baby animals (harp seals, penguins, etc etc. Yes, I'm weird). Most of all I've wanted a baby pig that resembles Wilbur from that film adaptation of "Charlotte's Web."Turns out, my dream is closer than I thought...

If you haven't seen this already, be prepared to die of a cuteness overload:
TEACUP PIGS!!!!
Only a few thousand dollars and one could be mine!!! Eeek. SOOOO CUTE.

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all time low

roommate tossed a half-eaten chocolate & caramel-covered pretzel stick in the trash can b/c it was too hard to chew. horrified at this loss of dessert, i exclaim reflexively, "YOU THREW THAT AWAY?!" She instantly grabs it from the trash, which is full mind you, and says, "Do you want it?" I ask if it has touched the trash bag and other pieces of trash. She confirms in the positive. Who am I kidding, did I even need to ask that? I barely inspect it before stuffing it in my mouth. And yes, it was hard to chew. But worth it? Yes. If only for the sake of this story.

Today, for my dinner, I had a plate of saltines and pretzels with a side of A1 Steak Sauce and a can of white corn. Luckily, some housemates had some leftover soup and rice that I could eat to supplement my severe disinterest in cooking for myself.