S is for Shingles

So remember that one time I cut my knee open on a stationary bicycle at the rec and bled everywhere? And I had to ask hottie desk boy for bandages but they didn't have any readily available because people don't usually hurt themselves on indoor machines? This may be as dumb as that.

A few days ago, I noticed an itchy spot on my lower back. I ignored it for a couple days, then discovered it to be a series of raised red bumps. I halfheartedly looked on the internet for a skin condition matching what I had but got distracted by some website and never came back to the search. At the same time, I developed a soreness in my lower abdomen/hip on the same side of the body, but blithely attributed that to the long run I'd had on Saturday. (On a side note, I've become very concerned about my ability to read medical signs. Look for a blog post regarding a ruptured appendix any day now.) In short, when I finally stumbled upon what the problem was and visited the doctor, he told me I was about five days later than I should have been. Oops.

Little known fact: when you get over chicken pox, the pox don't "go away." Instead, they lie dormant in the base of your spine until one day, if you're lucky enough, they reemerge as varicella zoster, or shingles, bursting somehow out of your nerves. You may recognize shingles as an infection your grandma had. It is most common in people over the age of 60, or in cancer patients / organ donors, when the immune system is weakened. The doctor's best guess for my lil' episode was "high psychological stress in the last week" -- soo, thx LSAT! It's not contagious, and it goes away within like 10 days. The best thing about it is that the pill I have to take five times a day to prevent permanent damage to my nerves (yikes) is Valtrex, the same pill taken by genital herpes sufferers. You can imagine the looks I received in the Milaca Pharmacy while picking up my high-dosage prescription.

Anyway, I'm pretty lucky because most people also get a high fever and terrible, terrible pain and some who get the rash on their face become blind or deaf. Plus, shingles usually doesn't resurface, so when y'all suffering from a bout in your nursing homes, I'll be FLYING HIGH.

Here are some pictures! Probably stop now if you get grossed-out easily! (side note - Google Image-searching skin irritations/rashes/infections is a disgusting, disgusting way to spend a morning.)

what mine most actually resembles

it's waaaay grosser close-up!

lol, different kind

Actually, I didn't have the heart (/stomach?) to post the grossest ones here. If you wanna see pics of people who have it way worse than I do (or in way less opportune places of the body), y'all can search it yourself. xoxo!

This is what I really miss about you. As you become closer friends with these people, which will come first: recommending "Guts" or requesting to grasp their uvula? It's almost an even draw in my mind. Also, did you know you can get your uvula pierced? This is the nastiest thing I've encountered on the interweb since I moved out of Brooks House and had daily motivation to find stomach-churning images. Ryeon, you know what I'm talking about.

Some things I feel desperately that I need to do.

1. Touch someone's eyeball with my eyeball.
2. Hold someone's uvula between my fingertips.
3. Put my head in a bucket of peeled grapes.
4. Attempt surfing.
5. Levitate via hundreds of helium balloons or rocket fuel. Unless I an find something earth-friendly.

I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND BABY

I got food stamps today! And bought 3 kinds of tomato sauce!

People made 2 baked goods today--cornbread and brownies.

P.S. People here choose pick-up soccer or pick-up frisbee EVERYDAY. Yuck.

NATE

YOUR PROFILE PICTURE! I just noticed it! You don't look like you!

Food

Today I ate a piece of apple pie (homemade by my house supervisor) and homemade bread. Then for a dinner snack I had some spaghetti sauce from the can.

I keep thinking that I'm getting better. But then I open up that can of tomato-y goodness and I can't help myself.

Also, this program is good because not only do I not feel compelled to drink, my body actually rejects it (pretty heartily) and I'm remembering how to do fun things without boozing it up. Like Charades, dancing, watching movies, talking to people...should I go on? The other night I had two light beers and a gross drink called the Cape Codder (cranberry, tonic, and vodka=yuck) over the reasonable course of three-four hours, and my stomach was crunching the way it used to when I drank 10-12 drinks. Woo-hoo! Tolerance=back to zero. Neural pathways, here I come!

If you haven't seen the latest episode of Project Runway...

Stop reading now! (SPOILERS)

This was the WORST episode EVER. WTF happened to Michael Kors and Nina Garcia? They would never have made such poor decisions!

You do NOT pick someone to win who never changes their design and has sucked every episode. Seriously, Nicholas does the same damn thing every time... white and lace. And it bombs every episode. He also spends the whole time talking shit and not doing work. He is annoying, abrasive and a shoddy designer. The two other designers in the Top 3 had perfectly executed designs. Epperson should have been given immunity. Now we're stuck with Nicholas another episode, even though he'll probably make some hideous white lace mess.

You do NOT eliminate someone who has been in the top 3 almost every episode and has won at least twice. Ra'mon was a shoe-in for Bryant Park. He is one of the most creative designers on the show. He has a natural eye for cutting edge, modern wear. Yeah, he pushed his design too far in this episode and it didn't quite work out, but it was not elimination worthy. This was supposed to be a "slap on the wrist, please don't do this again" challenge for him NOT an elimination.

Stupid Louise makes the same damn dress every challenge. "Omg I'm, like, sooo retro! Look at my blunt cut black bob. See? Clearly I do vintage design..Oooo guess what kind of design I'm doing this time??" Her dress was boring and could be found on any rack at Kohl's. She has never been in the top or bottom 3. She has played boring and safe the whole season. That sort of work ethic does not get you to Bryant Park or, rather, garner you success in the fashion industry.

Is this what we're rewarding now?

Stupid Project Runway. I have stood by you for so many seasons. You should have never joined Lifetime--the channel of middle aged white America. :[

Thanks for letting me rant about a tv show.

In other news, Rob Oden...please don't leave.

R.I.P. President Oden. There goes Carleton as we know it...

God loves roller coasters

Um, so in avoiding studying during these crucial last hours before the LSAT (good call, right?), I've been reading some blogs about Buenos Aires food/fashion/attractions, etc. and came across this theme park called Tierra Santa - the world's first religiously-themed amusement park. Apparently it has 37 attractions, all based on famous stories from the Bible. It boasts the largest manger in the world AND Resurrection reenactments EVERY HOUR! You can read a more detailed review in English here and you better believe within a few months, you'll get my review too.


I also found this bomb-ass bookstore and discovered every ice cream establishment/chain has a ridiculous flash and/or slide-show intro. Probably you should all come visit.

Also, poll: is it better to sit on the middle aisle of a plane or the window aisle? I forgot to choose seats when I booked my flight (fml) so I'm stuck in the back regardless. OR should I pick a middle seat and up my chance of sitting next to my dreamy Argentinian soulmate??

Stupid Cases (S.C. - get it??), installment one....

So if you hit someone with the front of your car and then you couldn't see them because they fell down, would you keep driving for multiple blocks event though you feel something under your car? You're not drunk or high...

I've got more stupid case stories to inform you of so that you can watch out for people even more psycho than Ryeon and Andrew, must go to class now and learn more:)

If I said Asians don't smell bad...

SupAH WRONG. I've smelled terrible at least 5 times since I've started working for Americorps. Don't worry. I've showered profusely and even washed my sheets (after only two weeks!). Also, I've been have rather rancid BMs, so I guess I stand corrected on that, too. It doesn't help that I no longer can sit on the Toilet and read for hours anymore...

So the explanations for the FOLDING VS. BUNCHING quizextraordinaire:

Bunching (which I had a habit of doing): juvenile and environmentally UNfriendly
Folding (which I'm not experimenting with): mature, adult, and environmentally friendly

Reasons? Folding means (in theory) that you conserve toilet paper. I, however, as a neophyte, have not yet gotten the hang of it and thus, MUST wash my hands everytime (not that I susally don't, but this time the birthday song definitely goes through my head).

Other newsworthy items: I'm still having a hard time believing that THIS is my job. We got 30 hours last week from hanging out playing games at a beach house! In the mornings, I wake up before service/training to go swimming in a freshwater pond (about 500 across) that's a five-minute jog down the road. Yesterday, mist steamed from the water as we swam through it. It's trippy, scary, and stunning. I promise your tax dollars are being used well, though!

Chainsawing is hard work (who knew I had THAT much butt sweat??), and I've gotten sort of used to worms and bugs crawling on me. For all the push-ups I semi-attempt to do at night time, it is NO preparation for lugging around a 25-lb chainsaw for hours, plus sawing softwood pines. Just so you know, don't balance the handle between your legs (to prevent sawing yourself in half from the kickback). You might think that common sense, but really, that thing is HEAVY. We're falling trees tomorrow. Next time you see me, I'm going to be very disproportionate. I'll also be able to take on any of you with these gunz. Pretty picture, right?

For those of you who believe I can't/don't cook, think again! (Well, not too much, actually you're probably right with the amount of rice and PBJs I've eaten. I've moved onto couscous, too, which is NOT filling.) A guy and I were in charge of house dinner tonight, and we made fajitas (yours truly was in charge of lime-cilantro rice, yum and DESSERT!). GUESS WHAT DESSERT I MADE? Okay, I'll tell you:

Bottom layer: devil's food chocolate cake with Oreos baked in
Second layer: Chocolate pudding
Third layer: Cake
Fourth layer: Crumbled Oreos
Fifth layer: Pudding mixed with cool whip
Sixth layer: Cake + Crumbled Oreos
Seventh layer: Some gummi worms

I was going to use peanut butter as a layer, but I didn't have any. It was delicious. Then I ran up the driveway 3x, got scared (predictable running = psychotic killers + nobody would be able to hear me scream), and proceeded to run around a circle that size of Brooks House's living room and kitchen.

And lastly (if you've continued reading this in-depth account of my day), I am planning my next pinata. I.e. a birthday is coming up! I asked this lucky guy what his favorite tangible items no more than 3" long are. He said, very skeptically, "Sand dollars." When pressed, he continued, "Okay! Pretzels! Cheese wedges!" Little did he know... I'll probably add some Milky Way Darks and Snickers per some further sneaky-semi-surrogate investigating...

A nugget for thought: How long does it take a human nail to decompose? In dirt vs. water?

I also think I missed a the point of American Psycho. I think about that chainsaw scene all the time. How stupid the prostitute was (?) to run a constant speed in a perfect spiral, and how dangerous it is to run half-naked with a chainsaw.

We were way ahead of the news curve

Guys, even CNN is picking up what we've noticed about bears. That being: they'll mess you up.

This is easily my favorite news story of the week. Maybe ever?

Parallel (nearly) to Oryx and Crake!

“Flood” is neither a sequel nor a prequel to the 2003 novel “Oryx and Crake” (though “Oryx” does provide a back story). “It’s the same time slice,” Ms. Atwood explained. “It’s different parts of the landscape, seen from very different points of view.” She wrote “Flood” after everybody asked what happened next and is now at work on a third book in the trilogy.

AKA, this is the book I'll be checking out from the library ASAP.

She's aged pretty well. And kept the majority of her hair.

Teaching the children of the bourgeoisie...

Seems like I can't get away from them. I used to pick out their overpriced clothes at Gap Kids, and now I'm teaching them to NOT drown at Foss Swim School. lol.

I'm on my 3rd week of work at Foss. I love my Saturday shift--the kids are really great. I have one class of three 3 and 4 year-olds and they are SO cute. One of the girls got in the pool Saturday and said "Teacher Briana, I made this for you..." and proceeded to hand me a cut-out paper heart she colored with marker. That was only the 3rd lesson! Sweeeeet.
Also, I was wearing my Carleton swim & dive shirt after I got off work and one of my students came running up to me and asked if I went to Carleton cause his step sister did. When I asked when, his dad said she just graduated. I was like "Really? Who is she? Cause I just graduated..." Turns out I'm teaching Melly Turner's step brother. lol. Small world.

Oh, one more story...I went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday. (Yes, I'm nerd.) My friend Ashley and I had free tickets. I haven't gone for a couple years, and it was tons of fun. There was a guy there who was the spitting image of Jack Sparrow a la Pirates of the Caribbean. I kid you not. If I didn't know better I could've sworn it was Johnny Depp. This guy looked exactly like him--down to the rings on his fingers and the compass on his belt. He talked like him (he walked by us, bowed and said "my ladies..."). And he acted like him, complete with hand flourishes and a slight drunked stagger to his walk. People were staring at him and little kids would run up to him yelling "JACK SPARROW??!!!" He talked to each of the kids, joking with them, and he handed them little gold coins (cursed Aztec gold?). It was way cool.

I also bought a Sparkling Apple Cider Float and it was the best thing I have ever tasted.

Gratuitous Swearing

It's 2:37 in the am and I'm drinking a goddamn glass of pinot grigio and eating a pickle...

Perchance I should get a job...

Also, can we "Earn money by configuring Google AdSense for [our] blog!"? Once we really get this witty ball rollin', we'll have endorsements literally knocking down our fucking collective doors.

Second also, we should probably talk about this bear...he eats fucking trumpets/tourists playing trumpets for breakfast!

WINO

I just drank the most delicious red wine ever. And I didn't even put Coke in it. (BTW, I'm thinking that I would prefer not support Coca-Cola products, though that's difficult given their delectable and fattening chips...among other products.) I actually bought expensive environmentally-safe laundry detergent despite the fact that I have no money for anything. I mean, spending a little extra for something that I'll use for a long time (and you know how long I'll be using that sheeeeeeeeeet) then it's worth the money, right? Anyway, even though i usually don't like wine, this was Cranberry Wine from the Cape. AKA AMAZING. Miss the senior year wine tastings, but this is delish, too!

P.S. I also just ate entire bag of raw Ramen. Regressing or progressing?

It's sometimes hard to take my job seriously

So I am reading NASCAR for dummies (which was handed down to me by my boss). It is written by Mark Martin who is a pretty famous driver who also happens to be the oldest driver to make it in the Chase. So I found out that a few years ago Mark's primary sponsor was Viagra. So I was thinking about Jeff Gordon and how he shows support for his sponsor, Pepsi...he chugs a Pepsi after a race and thanks Pepsi for successful races. So I'm like imagining Mark having his post race Viagra. Then all these terrible jokes came to mind about how Viagra had improved his drive...hahaha.
Then in response to Ryeon's question (haha Ryeon, you're so weird), I am a buncher not a folder...I'm excited to hear what this means (my toilet paper horoscope haha).

Already procrastinating

Right now, I'm supposed to be writing and ranking the Individual Placement jobs, so that the staff know where to put me for the rest of this year. They're exciting, but somehow, written assignments now force me to find ways to procrastinate. Good job, college.

In response to the bear: weird. What you SHOULD want to get is an Artic Seal Pup. How cute is that? (For all you non-baby animal lovahz, I suggest you start posting before it's overrun by pictures like this. Though, I would be okay with that.)

A question to leave you with (of which I am incredibly interested in the results): When you use the bathroom, do you fold your toilet paper or bunch it up? This is very important. I'll explain what the answers mean later...

Can we talk about this bear?

it plays a trumpet and makes soccer calls! i hope bears like this are common in spanish-speaking countries; i will get one instead of the cat i was planning on adopting.


in other news, i worked pouring wine at a charity golf event yesterday. about 40% of those offered took a free glass. this is the difference between real life and college. also, my high school's librarian had a surgery in which HER STOMACH WAS REMOVED. THE WHOLE THING. i have no idea how this is feasible.

Insanity is okay?

Jung is feeling understandably tired and insane. This is when his soul, a female figure who surfaces periodically throughout the book, shows up again. She tells him not to fear madness but to accept it, even to tap into it as a source of creativity. “If you want to find paths, you should also not spurn madness, since it makes up such a great part of your nature.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/magazine/20jung-t.html?pagewanted=10&em

TRASH PLATES

check it. we're going to eat this for house dinner one day.

Bottom layer: 1/2 macaroni salad + 1/2 fried potatoes

Insulation: 2 cheeseburgers

Top layer: Bun, beans, ketchup, mustard, other condiments